pol guy in equestria
by Kazimierz
Summary: A guy that goes on 4chan's /pol/ board gets teleported into equestria (human in equestria)
1. Chapter 1

So there I was just sitting at my computer trolling a cod kid on tf2 "HOW DO I QUICKSCOPE?" the kid yelled "you shove it up your ass" I replied then the kid got so pissed he started yelling and then he rage quit.

"ha goteem" I said as I uploaded the video of the kid to youtube then I went to go get a sandvitch but when i came back I saw a comment on my video.

"broniesRcool69: Wo loozer stop trolling or I'm gonna uze the powah of friendship on u"

Ha I laughed at its stupidity as I replied  
"Casimirz: Get off my comments ya horsefucker you retards aren't welcome here"

I laughed again as I opened up assassins creed 4 "lol what an idiot" I thought to myself. But then the "powah of friendship" was used on me and then I blacked out.

Then I woke up but I wasn't in my house I was in a library and there was a purple horse reading next to me "deer god am I where I think I am" I thought to myself "um?" I said getting her attention "ah you're awake" she said looking up from her book "no I'm not"  
"what?" She replied with a confused look "i am a very sarcastic person" i said walking towards the door "wait" she said trying to get me to stop "what" i said stopping at the door

"well one you don't have any questions about why you are here?" "nope" i said  
"and two princess celestia told me to watch you and teach you about friendship" she continued

"deer god..." I said remembering all the fanfictions (i only like the horror ones) that ended with the bad guy turning into the good guy "I'm gonna go crazy here" i said but then before twilight could respond i punched her in the face and ran towards the forest.

"if i can make it there ill be safe" i thought then I saw a house near the edge of the forest and i stopped. "if I kill the elements then there will be less friendship and then i won't go insane" I thought to myself as I walked towards the house of the element of kindness.


	2. Chapter 2

As i walked towards fluttershy's house i pulled something out of my pocket. It was a nazi armband with a black ring around the swastica with the words "/POL/ POLITICALLY INCORRECT" written in the black part. then i took a fake hitler moustache and monocle out of his pocket as a disguise then i walked up to the house and kicked down the door.

"AHH" i heard the pony scream in fear as i walked in and yelled "ALL HAIL QUEEN BOXXY" and "VIVA LA REVOLUTION" as i started to beat her with a stick i had found outside.

Now you may be wondering why i yelled all that crap but that is because i had a plan to take over all of equestria by getting all of the criminals to start a revolution.

So i didn't kill her yet because i needed someone to spread the word of a revolution happening. there will be fear chaos and disorder and that will stop the elements from ending my other plans to soon.

But as i was going to leave I left a note next to fluttershy's unconscious body

dear celestia  
The time has come for a revolution your people are angry at your oppressive dictatorship we already have half of the country under our command. unless you face punishment for your actions and name queen boxxy as the rightful ruler we will be forced to take action  
-aberdolf hilter  
(and over 9,000 oppressed ponies)

So then i ran out of the house and into the forest where i found a small cave and there i will kill all of the ponies... eventually


	3. Chapter 3

/main6/  
/1 day after fluttershy atack/

The main 6 where at the hospital waiting for fluttershy to come out. "I cant believe that monster did this" twilight said. All day yesterday they had been at the crime scene trying to find any evidence that the human may have left behind but there was nothing but a note

Fluttershys attack had disturbed everyone. even pinke wasn't as cheerful as she was before. The doctor was walking into the waiting room with fluttershy behind him "are you her friends?" The doctor asked "yes we are... How is she?" Twilight replied while fluttershy just stood there with a sad look on her face "she is fine but she will need to take these pills for a few weeks" the doctor said while levitating a pill bottle over to her "ok thanks doctor"

/half hour later/  
/fluttershys house/

As the police had finished questioning her for information on the attack they asked if she had any questions "what if it comes back?" She said "well if you like we could have a officer stand watch" officer clip clop replied "um.. Ok" fluttershy said. Her usual timidity had grown since the attack and she had been reluctant to answer the questions "very well then thank you for answering the questions and have a good night ms" officer clip clop said as he walked towards the door.

but unknown to either of them there was a human watching through a window a human known as aberdolf hilter


	4. Chapter 4

/random alley in horse town/  
/1 day after last chapter/

Now you may be wondering "why is this emo trash just creepily standing in a alleyway sharpening a stone knife" well that my dear reader is because I was hunting. "rats?" You may ask yourself but no I am out hunting any pony that is unfortunate enough to walk by.

I heard hoofsteps walking by and I readied my knife for the third and final kill of the night before I go back to the cave to cook one of them. As he walked by I suddenly jumped from the shadows and plunged my stone knife deep into his back. Covering his mouth to make sure he didn't call for help I dragged him into the alley.

"tastes just like mcdonalds" I thought to myself as I finished off the meal although mcdonalds probably did have horse in there burgers I didn't really care. *sigh* I sighed "I wish I had some rum" I said to myself these horses probably don't even know how to make it... poor bastards.

/scootaloo pov/

Scootaloo was randomly walking through the forest when she saw a wooden doorway where her secret cave was. "hm that's weird" she thought to herself she didn't tell anyone about the cave not even her best friends know about it. She went up to the door to knock and it creaked open "hello?" she said but no one seemed to be home.

She looked around the cave and saw a campfire, a few wooden boxes, some sharp stones attached to wooden sticks and some firewood. She went to the back of the cave behind the to see if her things where still under the big rock when she heard somepony outside.

She hid behind the rock as a strange creature walked in on its two legs carrying a large sack "ah piss" it yelled as it tripped over a rock dropping the sack as it fell. Then it got up and walked over to one of the boxes and pulled out a lighter and it lit the fire on the ground and took a dead pony out of the sack.

Scootaloo realized what this monster was doing as it cut off one of the legs of the dead pony and started to hold it over the fire. She looked around to find a way out of there but she knew there was no way out but the front door.

"tastes just like mcdonalds" the monster said is it took a bite out of the leg. A few seconds later as it finished the leg it sighed "i wish I had some rum" it said "isn't that the new drink big mac made?" She thought to herself. as the rock she was leaning against moved the monster stopped what it was doing and grabbed its knife. It was at this point scootaloo realized...

She fucked up


	5. Chapter 5

/pol guy's pov/  
/0.4 seconds after last chapter/

"come on m8 I know you're there" I sad walking over to the rock at the back of the cave when a small horse walked out from behind the rock and said "I surrender please don't eat me" "well SHIT I cant kill a kid wtf am i going to do with it" I thought to myself "well I cant kill you" I said so you're letting me go?" She asked with hope that she might make it out alive "no im going to keep you in a cage and in a few years when you get older then ill kill you" I said with an evil look on my face as she started crying "b-but you cant my friends will come looking for me" she said "and then your friends will be in that pile" I said pointing to my skull collection in the corner. She started crying even more as i shoved her in one of the wooden crates I had stolen "out of sight out of mind" I thought but then I realized that I cant keep her here forever but then I had an idea.

In Iraq a few years ago isis brainwashed a girl to fight for them and it was so effective that they let her carry a gun so I thought if I could do it right I would have another pair of hands... Or hooves ah yea that reminds me these horses are my enemies so ill have to kill her once she has served her purpose but for now I can have a spy in there base.

/1 day later/

"yo wake up" I said to the small orange horse as she was asleep on the chair I had just stolen "AH" she yelled "where am I?" She asked "well you're in a chair and you are going to be questioned" I said sharpening my knife "HELP GET ME OUT OF HERE" she yelled "heh we're a few thousand feet underground so nobody can hear you" (that was a lie we're still in the cave) "well what do you plan to get out of me I don't have any information and even if I did I wouldn't tell you" she said "well I don't want much and despite what you think I not evil" I said (lie lol) "what about the ponies that you killed and ate" "they were evil" "yea likely story" hm this will take longer than I thought.


	6. authors note

Hi just a quick authors note should I change scootaloo to an oc? Nothing in the last chapter will change except the name

Also I'm going to take a break from this for a few days and maybe make the emperor of equestria story a series


End file.
